360 Customer Support

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Xbox 360
Hey kids,

So my 360 has once again shit the bed. Now this blog was not yet in existence when my 360 got its first STD, but suffice to say, it burned when I peed and I had a red ring. I am not posting to rally against the 360 and how they pushed out a broken system to gain the market share; the big boy blogs do a good enough job doing that. I just want to let you know that Microsoft has improved their methods and streamlined things a bit more. The red ring did not make an appearance this time around, which I guess was nice. I had just gotten home from Christmas with a shiny new Mass Effect, I popped the sucker in and started creating a man worthy of ruling the galaxy and then…everything turned yellow. Initially thinking the game was broken; I quickly exited and went to my dash board, only to find that it too was yellow. I was getting sound so I initially thought that it was my AV cords. I ran to Best Buy, squandered a gift card on a new set of cords only to find out that the cords were not the issue. So I do what I should have done initially, call the Xbox support line. I hate having to call and disrupt these poor folks in India, but each time that I do I am happy with the result. The guy threw absolutely no bullshit. Yes he asked if the cords were tight, and I snarkily acquiesced. He tells me it is a hardware failure and they will send me my second coffin. The well worn coffin has arrived and let me tell you, they must be getting a shitload of consoles sent back to them, because they have perfected there little system.

Last time, I included a note explaining that it would be the tops if they could also fix my disc drive, as it was starting to get quirky and stick here and there. Sadly, this note was probably discarded because when I got my console back, she still was a bit sticky. This problem has deteriorated over the past year. It is now to the point that when I don’t have a disc in there I have to tilt my system for the tray to open and when there is a disc in there I have to aggressively poke the tray for it to pop out a little and then pull it open. Truly, this is the next generation of video game consoles, who knows maybe the nargle inside died. Sorry sorry, I am trying not to bitch here, but man…come on.

Anyway, this time around they actually include a neat little check sheet that actually ask if the disc drive is fucked (not in that language). I was quite happy, because it shows me that there is a possibility of them actually fixing my embarrassing disc drive. Also on the list:

1. Does your system sound like the wood chipper in Fargo: check.
2. Have you ever had the red ring of death: check
3. Does the enormously hysterical power source demand civil rights: negatory
4. Does your screen illustrate the absence of light, yet has sound: check

Anyway, the customer service has reached a pretty amazing level. There is a lot of negative things being said about Micr$oft and rightly so, I figured I should give the poor fella a pat on the back. Good customer service little guy. Now give me back my system and fix my disc drive!